Why I don't smoke

Lettera 22, and Lettera 32

I'll be talking a little more about these two typewriters sometime in the near future, but right now I want to talk about my most recent attempt at dunking typewriters. You may recall that I successfully attempted a dunking on a Hermes 3000 70's model a little while ago. Since then I have dunked a few more typers with mostly positive outcomes. Until today. Here's a moment I'd like to share with you. 

Okay kids, hop in the bath and play nicely... 

L22, What's that..... is that..... OH NO! 

God no! no! NO!........ Stop!.... STOOOOOOP!

(BOOM......)

Damn. I hate it when the kids poo in the bath. 

The lettera 22 was in remarkably good condition when I bought it on eBay. The case was excellent for the age of the machine, and the paint had no wear. All the metal parts still gleamed as though they were  new. For a machine that is approaching 50 years old, I thought I had scored. 

I'd seen these machines before, and when I saw it on ebay - lonely and with no bids (they had spelled typewriter wrong) I threw an offer in, and was surprise to have won the auction. The machine LOOKED in excellent condition in the photos. 

When It arrived, I looked over it an was mostly pleased. But it seemed a little off colour from the version of this machine I had seem previously. The green didn't quite pop out as nicely, but the paint still looked unworn, with the exception of a very light scratch - which would probably 'buff out'. 

Never mind, I thought as I gave it a bit of a tap on the keys. This is when I discovered that a handful of the typebars were a little lazy. A sign that there was some dirt, oil or something else in the segment. I thought about just trying to work the segment clean, until I also noticed what seemed to be thin film of ink smudged down the side of the typewriter. 

I was going to dunk a Lettera 32, so I decided I would just put the Lettera 22 into the bath with it, and just let the hot and soapy water shift a bit of the residual junk. Neither machine seemed particularly dirty, and I was pretty confident I wouldn't be transferring dirt from one to the other. 

The first hint I had of there being something wrong was the smell. I knew the smell, and I couldn't quite place it at first. As the water level raised in the bath, I also noticed something else: a pool of  black residue at the bottom of the segment. 

The pool grew a little, but kind of just kind of drifted around in the water. 

But then the pool became a rapid squirt or material rising from the bottom, and the Lettera 22 filled with an oily black/brown murk. I knew any second now it would overflow from the L22, and I reached in and snatched out the L32 to save it. 

As the body of water shifted with the removal of the L32, the L22's black oil dispersed across the bath with almost impossible speed. It practically exploded its supply of filth into the water and I was now left with tub filled with an oily brown muck. It was like an octopus had defensively shoot its ink. 

I quickly turned off the tap, and in a moments peace memories related to the smell came back to me. Both of my parents had been heavy smokers once, and the smell of nicotine often soaked into everything. Also, in my younger student years, I had often rented dumpy old houses - many of which had walls toned brown by nicotine stains from the previous heavy smoking occupants. I still have the trauma of trying to wash that oil off the walls. 

The Lettera 22 has several patches of noise reduction foam or felt. The inky black squirt was a result of those patches releasing the load of nicotine that had been stored in them. The nicotine had come out due to the flood of hot and soapy water that was now invading into the felt - loosening up the oil. 

The moment the hot water hit the paint on the Lettera, it transformed the colour of the machine. A thin layer of nicotine had coated the machine perfectly, and this layer now dissolved rapidly into the hot and soapy water that splashed over it. You can see the residue in the photos above - where it sits in a ring around the soap suds. 

Ultimately the patients responded well to treatment. I flushed both of the machines with hot hot water straight from my shower, and managed to move most of the slick from the L22. I ended up having to shift a bit more with some wipes and cotton buds later on. 

The bath however, was horrendous. It took me over an hour to scrub clean. I was soaked thick with oil on my skin, and I felt 'chilled'. I wasn't exactly stressed, or even in a hurry to get myself clean. I would have expected the nicotine particles to have oxidised and degraded over time, but I guess there was enough fresh material for it to soak in to my skin somehow. *Future note - wear long gloves when dealing with old typewriters. 

Both machines now work perfectly, and I'll be posting about them soon. I've seen a fair bit of discussion on the forums about the L32/L22 differences, and it is nice to have both machines side by side to have a good go at both. 

*   *   *

Just a quick but ernest note (smokers, you might want to turn away for a moment). 

I used to work in a children's oncology ward where I learned to cope with the personal difficulties that come from watching children potentially dying every day. I was often witness to families breaking down while others only held together with increasingly strained strands of hope. We did our best for the children and families, and in 40% of cases, it wasn't enough for the children. 

The links between smoking and cancer are not just theoretical, they are real. My father is still alive and stopped smoking 20 years ago. 2 years ago he was diagnosed with emphysema. The muck that came out of this typewriter really highlighted the pervasive and damaging level of the materials that you consume from smoking. And it really drives home the poor outcomes that come from cancer. As much as I love the romantic notion of a room filled with smoke, with the ashtray over-flowing while the writer pounds at the keyboard of this Lettera 22 creating a masterpiece - I just can't move myself away from the grief that is caused by cancer. A cancer that most believe that they are unlikely to ever suffer, until they have it. 

Sorry to bring down the tone. I promise I'll end the next post much more light heartedly. 

The universe is balanced with a Hermes 3000

I now officially have a folly, as I collected the 'Jewellery' destined Royal this afternoon in circumstances that are fitting of it's own blog entry.

But all I can say at the moment about it is..... Oh good grief.

It hasn't been the best day. A work function at a restaurant in Hamilton last night ended up with a lot of co-workers with a case of the 'runs'. A situation that I myself had not been spared from.

After collecting the Royal on the way home from work, I arrived home to find a big white package on my doorstep. It undoubtably contained a bit white typewriter.

I carried it upstairs in one hand, with the black Royal in the other. The irony of this Yin Yang situation wasn't lost on me... Indeed, the Yin Yang would perfectly represent my excitement and disappointment.

So I plopped the white package on the table, and promptly pottered off to the nearest toilet before heading to bed. The Royal ended up on the floor near my desk.

*  *  * 

Before I continue, I need to detail something for the non typosphere readers on this blog, so they can understand my excitement about this package. There's a model of typewriter known as the 'Hermes 3000'. These are a Swiss made typewriter, which generally has a reputation of being the epitome  of refinement of typewriter design and construction. There's plenty of people that may disagree, but the vast majority of users believe that these machines have a superior typing action and reliability to all other typewriters that competed against it on the market. 

They are also typically incredibly expensive to buy on online. Especially the 1950's early 60's versions with the beautiful green colours and unique curves. 

*  *  *

I woke up sometime after the sun went down, and tiptoed out to the lounge. It was like Christmas.... I was eagerly wanting to rip the packaging open and get into the goodies inside. 

VOILA! 

And there it was... A gleaming example of a 1972 (yes, I've checked the serial) Hermes 3000. Sure, it's not the metal beauty of yesteryear. But from what I've read this machine is mechanically the same, if not better than the venerated 50's version. 

But there's something different about this machine. A little bit of 'special' that made this machine all the more interesting to me. 

The seller on ebay was just a clearing house of - what I suspect is - deceased estate goods. The typewriter was extensively photographed in its advertisement, but was low on details. I won the auction for it on the same day as the folly Royal, and after postage, this machine came out to roughly the same price as the Royal. An underpayment in my opinion, balancing out the overpayment of my folly. Universal harmony still clearly at work. 

But let's get back to the 'something special' about the Hermes. I spotted it while looking at the photographs. First, I noticed that the Manual had only german text on the front. It wasn't until after I looked at the ad a bit longer, that I noticed something about the keyboard. 

The typospherians will see it straight away, but I will point this out to the more casual readers of my blog: 

I'm sure everyone is familiar with a 'QWERTY' keyboard and why it is called as such. So see if you can form the same word out of this keyboard. 

Uh huh... That's right... It's a QWERTZ keyboard. See all those extra characters on the keys to the right? 

This is a German keyboard (EDIT: SWISS Keyboard. I did think it was a Swiss at first, but discounted it on the basis of the name of the owner alone). But outside of units brought in by collectors to Australia, these are typically thin on the ground here. Very thin.

The owner also had a label stuck onto the side of the keyboard that contained their initials, and their last name and address. Tannenbaum was their last name. 

This typewriter was a piece of migrant history. I'm fascinated in migrant history, and to be honest this was even more exciting to me than getting my hands on a Hermes 3000. Did it come with someone that had moved from overseas? Was it brought here for someone who was stubbornly still working with german keyboards? 

And now here it was. In front of me, ready to be used. It's most recent service receipt (1998) was stapled into the cover of the manual. The service was for a screw that had dropped from somewhere into the typewriter. 

I tried to put a piece of paper into the typewriter, but the platen knob just kept turning freely. It turned out that the knob was missing a screw. 

The rest of the typewriter was perfectly intact and in mostly brilliant condition. The mechanism to drive carriage was smooth and tight. The carriage lever was a quality construction, and the whole unit operated and felt like it was brand new. 

So I plopped some paper in and pulled it into place with the left knob. I touched... just touched... the carriage leaver, and the carriage silently slid into place. It felt so refined compared to others I had. I had never heard a carriage slide silently before as usually they ratchet into place. 

I paused... I thought for a moment... Am I about to be severely disappointed by the action when I press this key? Am I about to find out that everyone's ranting and raving was just... utter bullish*t? 

I pressed a key. It responded nicely. No sticking, no resistance. I felt a slight ratcheting of the action that I had never felt in a key press before. It felt good... but I wasn't having a typewriter orgasm over it as it sounds like others have. 

So I decided I'd use the ancient  ribbon that was in this machine, and give it a go. 

After a minute of typing on it, I could already see why it had such a good reputation. I have two other machines of it's era; An Adler Gabrielle 25, and a Adler Tippa. It didn't jar my fingers like the Gabrielle has, while it felt far more refined and controlled than that of the Tippa. 

The German keyboard wasn't even a problem either. I had no problems navigating my brain around using the re-orientated z-y keys. 

If I am to fault this machine for anything, it's the noise. It's sharp, smooth and direct. And louder than anything else I have, except maybe my 1936 Remington 16.

There's no comparison to the other machines I have. The only machines that come close are the two massive standards that I own. If the 1950's Hermes 3000 typed as nicely as this, then it certainly would have been a revelation to the industry at the time. 

But despite this unit largely looking almost brand new, and very carefully looked after, there were some blights that indicated that it had been used extensively, if not badly. 

The rim of the ribbon cover was smattered with blue residue. As was the paper table. I chipped at it with a fingernail, only to find that it refused to budge, and seemed to be well and truly caked on. I couldn't identify it either. It was in places that ink wouldn't typically be. 

What was it? It must have been off carbon paper. But carbon paper around the inside rim of the ribbon cover? Carbon paper all over the paper-table? 

Further more, there had clearly been a capricious use of 'Liquid paper' (Lickie for my local friends) in the past, certainly taken straight from the liquid paper bottle with a brush. 

Muck, muck, muck, muck.

Time to break out the Uni-solve.... 

Voila! Looks like it is new again! 

So after a bit of cleaning, this whole typewriter now looks new again. The liquid paper was quite difficult, as while I cleaned it, the small lines seem to multiply, and soon I had huge smears of thick lickie all over the place. It took me a good 15 minutes just to clean up my clean up. 

BLING!!!!

I don't actually mind the style of the design here. It's just has historic as many other setups. This 'The computer age has arrived' look has a charm of it's own, which has yet to come into it's time. The dull aluminium and white colour scheme certainly sits alright with my mac, but had I have ended up with a white and blue unit, I would have been just as happy, as the blue really repeats that blue steel look of the computers of the era. 

Unfortunately, other than my Mac, this typer matches nothing else of my decor, which is largely 1920s/30s/40s Deco. Much of it being restored or reworked pieces. 

So there you have it. I'm going to put a new ribbon on this sometime in the next few days, and possibly knock out some correspondence to someone on it. Anyone else wish to be added to my letter writing list? I wrote a letter 2 nights ago to a new contact in the USA, and I grabbed a handful of airmail envelopes yesterday so I can post overseas. So don't be shy.

Anyhow... I really need to get project FP finished. It's had a bit of a setback after some materials failed me. And now I have another Royal that is going to take some work. The projects are stacking up. It's nice to have a typer that only needs one small screw to get working 100% again. 

Speaking of the Royal..... back to my folly..... 

Oh good grief...